It can be very frustrating for parents to ask their child over and over again to complete their chores without them
ever getting done. If this describes your home, an effective discipline strategy is to a chore chart. Chores might include taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, cleaning their room, yard work or putting laundry in the laundry room. Each chore has to be done just once or twice a week.
Creating a chore chart can be very effective in helping you and your children keep track of tasks accomplished and also inspiring and motivating by checking off completed tasks. Rather than imposing a chore chart on your children, make the activity of creating the chart fun. At the same time as discussing chores, it is also important to discuss awards for completing all the chores in one week. Make sure your children understand that the reward is for all the tasks accomplished, and no reward will be forthcoming if the tasks are not done.
An effective discipline technique is to discuss this with your child and involve them in the process.Once you’ve sat down with your child and discussed and designed a chore chart, then discuss the rewards for accomplishing each task listed. Perhaps at your home you decide you will give a set sum for each task accomplished.
If you should decide to grant your child some sort of monetary allowance, make sure it’s age appropriate and granted on a regular basis. A good rule of thumb is 50 cents per year of age. So your 8 year old child would earn $4.00 per week if each chore on the list has been completed. If it has not been, they do not receive their allowance. Should you decide to use non-monetary incentives as chores payment, be sure you set clear parameters for your child. Be sure they understand that two hours each weekend of their favorite video game or going to see a movie with mom or dad is only earned by completing the chore list successfully each week. You might want to consider writing these on a slip of paper as ‘currency’ for the child to keep in their ‘privilege bank’ and they can cash it in with you when they’d like.
Regardless of the method you choose, keep in mind this can be a valuable tool for both you and your child. This is a great child discipline opportunity for you to teach your children the value of both earning and saving money, and also giving back. Perhaps the child can divide their allowance into thirds: 1/3 to spend, 1/3 to save, and 1/3 to use to help those less fortunate than themselves. You might also want to consider designing a ‘bank book’ for each portion of the allowance and tuck each into three separate coffee cans or money jars, and that way you and your child will be able to keep track of how much has been saved, how much has been spent, and how much of their allowance has gone to help someone else.
Parenting is all about bringing up your child to a become responsible and reliable individual. This can be successfully accomplished by using consistent parenting strategies.Consistency is important in any form of discipline for kids. Without consistency in expectations, rewards and consequences child discipline becomes ineffective.
When I was young, my brother and I got into lots of fights that were mostly my fault. When my mother found out that I was responsible, she would tell me that I was grounded and would send me to my room. No more than 10 minutes later though, she would always end up coming into my room and apologizing for punishing me this way. It seemed like I never got a clear message from her as to what I did wrong and why I was in trouble and therefore, I turned into a master manipulator with my parents because I knew they would be inconsistent. I knew I could get what I wanted due to that. Fortunately, my relationship with my parents is much better now and inconsistencies in childhood can be overcome, but why even let them happen for that long?
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
A huge mistake that so many parents make is to be inconsistent, especially with discipline. Often times, parents will discipline their children for doing some things wrong, but at other times, they will simply give in to what their children want. Have you ever felt so frustrated with your child during a temper tantrum that you finally just give in to get him/her to stop? Don’t worry. Even though this is not the best approach to dealing with a temper tantrum, it still happens a lot! You want to make sure to always be consistent with your discipline. If you give in one time and not another, not only will your child be confused and feel insecure but future issues will probably become worse as your child thinks, “Wait, I got away with this last time but not this time? Hmmm, I need to up my ante and act worse so my parent gives in again.” That is not a fun situation to deal with.
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
Sometimes parents react impulsively (like with giving into a temper tantrum to just get their child to stop) because they feel overwhelmed and emotionally charged. When your child is pushing you to the edge, it is completely ok for you to leave the situation and come back when you are ready to handle it better. Simply let your child know that you are upset or angry with his/her behavior and you need some time alone to think before moving forward. It is also a good idea to recommend that your child think during that time as well. When you exhibit new behavior like this and change to more consistent discipline, it is almost a guarantee that your child will try and test you time and time again until he/she realizes that old habits and methods will no longer work. Unfortunately, it will get much worse before it gets better and that can be fairly discouraging. Your child will try to get what he/she wants like always but when he/she realizes it is no longer working, he/she will probably escalate the situation and make it even more unbearable for you than before. Be strong though! It is amazing to watch a child get so much more frustrated and act out even worse and then over time, to see him/her beginning to realize that it will not work and start acting more like a calm human being. When your child is pushing your buttons, remember to stay calm. When you fight back with your child, you are creating a power struggle that will either end you’re your child as the winner or in a fit of anger that can be dangerous. You want to avoid a power struggle between you and your child and remaining calm (and even walking away) will greatly reduce the chances of having a struggle like that. When you handle difficult situations with your child, make sure to point out and praise the positive behavior rather than focusing on the negative behavior. When your child finally exhibits a good behavior after throwing a fit and probably driving you close to insane, point out the good behavior and praise him/her for it.
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
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