It is good to note that governments around the world are now recognizing the value and nobility of single parenting.
Single parenting is basically a courageous choice and decision that one without enough courage and bravery is ready to deal with. Experts noted that single parents, almost all of them, had been given the choice or option whether they would get on with the life or not. But they still decided to take on the role against all odds.
Single parents could have killed the child during pregnancy through abortion, but they had he greater guts and conscience not to do that, which is really commendable.
The Catholic Church and Rome is advising its people and believers to avoid or prevent the occasions of sins that could lead to single parenthood. But once a person becomes a single parent, the Church is all out on its moral and spiritual support.
If given the chance, according to one social poll, majority of the population in the United States would not resort to being a single parent. Single parenthood, therefore, is a choice, not a random destiny given to anyone.
Financial help for single parents
Financial help or aid is given by the government to any single parent who obviously and direly need financial support. The law recognizes the very hard and very imposing responsibility single parents assume and take, that is why financial help is extended to single parents.
In that way, the hardships and pressures experienced by single parents are purposely and somehow reduced and alleviated, if not totally eliminated. The morale of the single parent in continually raising the child is also boosted.
Seeking financial help
For single parents seeking financial help or support from the government, here are ways and procedures on how to finally secure that much needed financial help or support. To process an application if a single parent seeks financial or money help or support for single parenting, he or she must obtain a form freely available from the local or nearest City Hall.
The application for financial help forms should be honestly and clearly filled out because the information will have to be verified and will form the basis for approving the financial aid application. No more padding or unnecessary tarnishing of information. Remember, the more honest you become, the better would be the outcome.
Be advised that while financial help and aid for single parents are available and open to every single parent in the land, qualifications and eligibilities do exist and are set to protect the funds from abusive and money greedy people. Not all single parents are qualified for that, but believe it or not, the provisions are really bright and necessary.
Take note that financial help and money aids for single parents will not be given to single parents whose salaries and compensation is very huge and more than enough to comfortably and even luxuriously support the child or children. That would be too unfair to those who are basically and already deprived of basic and comfortable living.
Who are eligible for financial help?
To qualify for the financial help or assistance provided by the government to single parents, the single parent, above all must be first and foremost divorced.
Another case for eligibility for financial assistance is when the other significant parent, mom or dad, is already dead, or is seriously injured, disabled or handicapped.
Other eligibility requirements basically require the financial help applicant to prove that the financial help or support is really and badly needed by the single parent and the child.
A single parent is very much qualified for financial help if his or her partner is imprisoned regardless of the case that made him or her partially incapable to provide finances and full financial support to the child.
Or if the child has been born while the parents are not legally tied or married, in other words, the child is born obviously and apparently out of wedlock.
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Psychological Well Being of Single Parents In South Africa
Being a single parent in South Africa is already considered as a statistic. This is because of the high number of this rate versus combined parenthood. Ironically, the reason for single parenthood is very different from their Western counterparts.
In Western countries, typical reasons for single parenthood range from divorce, death of a spouse or a personal choice. In South Africa, the main reason of single parenthood is AIDS.
AIDS is rapidly killing people aged, 19-45 in South Africa. These ages are the potential parents of future generations.
According to Professor Clifford Odimgegwu, Professor of the University of Witwatersrand in Southern Africa, the grandparents are currently taking care of the orphans from parents who have died of this disease.
The AIDS epidemic has become alarming, and has already disrupted two layers of the population pyramid. This pyramid consists of those in the five-year old age bracket who will eventually be the adults in the future generations.
More than 10 million children in South Africa have been dying of AIDS. The other part of the pyramid is the 19-45 age bracket, who will comprise the senior citizens of the region. (http://www.voanews.com/english/archive/2006-03/2006-03-08-voa65.cfm).
Losing a partner is very stressful for the parent. The psychological well being of single parents in South Africa has been very poor primarily because of the reason on why the partner was lost. The reputation of AIDS in progressive countries have mellowed considerably.
In South Africa, however, it is still in the same ranks as the deadly illnesses of the olden times, as the Black Plague or the Bubonic Plague because of its sheer number.
The government has been very helpful in helping parents cope with the loss of a parent, whether through AIDS or through divorce. Divorce also ranks as a high factor in single parenthood. In South Africa, 50% of married couples end in divorce. These individuals become single parents. South African individuals have not developed coping skills on becoming a single parent.
They need assistance in coping with this event. The FAMSA is an organization in South Africa which helps out in counseling of individuals regardless of financial status. These organization is a beneficial tool of the South African government in managing the way of thinking of these individuals in coping with problems, particularly single parenthood.
Newly single parents develop feelings of sadness, abandonment, confusion, guilt, fear of being alone, and anxiety. The following tips have been recommended to be able to combat these feelings:
1) Forgive and forget – Letting go of unnecessary feelings can make one feel lighter, and happier. Holding on to anger is more stressful than letting it go. Forgetting will make it easier to move on to the next relationship, and maintaining the current relationship with your children.
2) Maintain network and relationships within the community – Having honorary aunts and uncles within the community fosters camaraderie between the child and the neighborhood, and the parent and the neighborhood as well. It also helps children understand that building relationships is an effective way to let go of the bad feelings that they felt during the separation of their parents.
3) Take responsibility – Before, the responsibility of caring for the family was shared between two individuals. Now, only one is responsible for the entire family. Taking responsibility empowers a single parent to be more careful in decision making and managing the household. In addition, the parent can ask help from the children on decision making such as what items to buy during grocery shopping.
4) Do not forget the old rituals that you used to do – Children need consistency in their lives after seeing their parents separate. Rituals as going out for dinner every Wednesday or the parent picking up the child from school every Friday should be maintained. In this way, the child feels that even if the parents are separated, the rituals are still there.
The psychological well being of single parents in South Africa are alarming, but slowly increasing towards the positive. The government, through FAMSA, has been a tremendous help in making sure that single parents are helped.
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Gone were the days when single parents are treated meanly and differently by the society. Today, single parents are treated the way any other married or single men and women are treated—with utmost respect and dignity.
Single parents currently are not burdened with the usual dilemma and assumption that the society looks at them further down compared to their single counterparts.
Children or a child out of wedlock, were or was previously viewed by the society as liabilities or some sort of punishment for the single parent’s lack of conviction, right judgment, or worse, promiscuity.
Single parents are often viewed, in the pervious and ancient era, as outcasts that inflicted the curse upon themselves through their promiscuous and wild nature. Women or single moms had been the most discriminated among all single parents.
Single parents in Michigan
Michigan is on state in the United States where single parents are fairly given the equal chance to go on with life despite the emotional and physical baggage brought about by single parenthood.
In Michigan, single parents can move freely and without discrimination just like how normal and average people move around and enjoy life. Thus, single parents in Michigan are free spirited and are welcome to party, enjoy and date around.
There are especially designated places in Michigan where single parents meet up. There seems to a formal organization, yet it is unformally founded, in Michigan for single parents.
There are party clubs, restaurants and places or park spots where single parents in Michigan occasionally meet and converge n a form of somehow a support group for each other. Single parenting can really be tough, that is why single parents must be given a break to enjoy and simmer life.
The Singles Grand Rapids
Single Grand Rapids is a social networking Web site located and based in Michigan. The online site manly covers happenings, meeting places, social groups, personal ads and much much more events, involving single parents specifically located and based in Michigan.
Single Grand Rapids is a virtual place, just like Friendster.com, where single parents in Michigan can virtually connect with each other, compare notes or organize their own group events or trysts.
Single parents in Michigan use Single Grand Rapids as a venue to hook up, for dating, meeting and simply hanging out in the state. Single Grand Rapids has thus become the most popular social networking Web site within Michigan.
Single Grand Rapids truly has evolved to become the common venue for dating and hooking up among single parents in Michigan.
Features of the Single Grand Rapids in Michigan
Jus like any other Internet site accessible and available to anyone in the Internet nowadays, Single Grand Rapids is characterized by numerous features hat set it apart and outstanding from the rest.
There are several special features and value added services integrated within the Single Grand Rapids Web site that may particularly suit and lure single parents’ interests.
For one, and as a start, Single Grand Rapids in Michigan has the special service called the ‘Grand Rapids Singles—Meeting Places’ where single parents in Michigan set out venues and dates for their occasional and regular trysts, convention, hanging out or meeting.
The Web site is also featuring its so-called ‘Grand Rapids Singles—Personals’ where single parents in Michigan connect with each other personally, through buttons or sections that categorize preferences. Under this section, there is the female seeking male, female seeing female, male seeking female and male seeking male subsections. Everyone is so much covered.
There is also the controversial ‘Grand Rapids Single Parent’ where single parents meet up and hook up. Special modes of communications are also provided by the feature, specifically for the single parents in Michigan.
Indeed, single parents in Michigan are never left up and left behind. Just like any other people, they are now not treated like mutants and outcasts. There are more hook ups and dates going on around involving single parents. Just open your eyes, and maybe you will find that you might be dating a single parent currently.
Be open-minded and open about the possibility.
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Effects of Single Parenting: Coping With Reality
The number of single parents has increased over the last twenty years. The number of children who have been a product of single parents have continually grown as well. This is because the overall change in society has changed drastically over the past years.
How a person reacts to certain situations, and how one copes with change have affected decisions involving families today. Studies have shown that there are effects, whether positive or negative on being a single parent to children.
Conflicting studies have shown that there are positive and negative effects of single parenting. Some studies show that children who have been exposed to single parenting have lower self-esteem that that of shared parenting.
On the other hand, some studies show that single or shared parenting does not have any effect on the growth or well-being of a parent. How a parent deals with a child, and oneself can mold the dynamics of the family, which can lead to the emotional well-being of both the parent and the child.
If the single parent relationship between the parent and child is carefully managed, the following positive outcomes may be felt within the family:
1) Gradual lessening of tension- Prior to being a single parent, feelings of tension are present and are felt by the parents and children.
Oftentimes, the feelings of the child are not felt by both parents. When the situation is explained to the child, this can lead to a feeling of understanding on why the separation happened.
This understanding can help the child cope with the current situation, and thus gradually release tension towards the child’s parents, and to other people as well.
2) More time with each other- Tension felt during the discussions on separation and divorce lead to neglecting children. Screaming matches, and not speaking to each other are common feelings felt by children and the parent.
The effect of being a single parent thus gives more time to address the needs of children, and open communication channels between the two. Planning vacations, and bonding sessions with each other can be a result of this. More time would lead to a more relaxed family atmosphere.
3) Re-establishing ties with the community- Children and parents can work together, and can even establish relationships with the community because of this effect of single parenting.
Single parents can ask help from their neighbors regarding the care of their children, such as baby-sitting or helping out with household chores. This often leads to a positive feeling of involvement on both the parent and the child, and the neighborhood as well.
4) Out of the box experience to the child- Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can broaden his/her experiences pertaining to life. The child is more sensitive and aware to what goes around his/her life, and can feel that the world does not revolve around him.
5) A sense of accomplishment – When a child is designated with small responsibilities, a sense of accomplishment usually is felt. Since additional responsibilities have been added, a feeling of openness is added to the sense of accomplishment felt. This is because a feat has been done to help out in the household. This makes the child feel that he/she is an important member of the household.
6) Prioritizing to lead to work and life balance – Single parents need to learn the value of prioritizing. Sometimes, new tasks are needed to be able to look for new types of jobs to support the family.
Schedules, school and financial obligations need to be prioritized to be able to maintain work and life balance. Attaining work life balance is a continuous challenge to the parent, due to additional responsibilities of managing a family.
7) Active role in decision making – Children can play an active role in the decision making of single parents. Single parents need additional minds to think most especially in making major decisions.
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Financial Assistance for the Single Parents
Single parents are becoming too popular and widely accepted a concept nowadays. Gone were the days when single parents are left solely and alone to raise their child or children alone.
The Federal Government and all legitimate governments around thew world are now recognizing the increasing and growing trend of single parenting.
Single parents, as you might have noticed, are everywhere. The lady sitting beside you in the bus ride home or the sales lady attending to your needs in the grocery might probably be among those single moms that are struggling hard to make both ends meet and raise their child or children single handedly.
Governments are mandated and are expected to care for and give protection to their constituents. Governments do protect their people, and that protection given should never be discriminative.
Thus, single parents should be given equal rights as those who are normal parents or those single individuals.
That is why governments from around the world are following the United States government model for compensating or providing financial assistance to single parents.
The government program that supports or gives financial aid to children and single parents are being adopted and closely watched by all governments all over the world now.
It is always assumed that since single parents take the sole responsibilities of single parenting in raising children, they are financially crunched and striving. The times are really hard nowadays, and earning to raise children can get really tough especially since the society is not so kind to single parents.
Financial assistance given to single parents
In the United States, financial support or assistance to single parents. The government effort is really a major feat. However, not all single parents are fully fitted and eligible for the program.
To be able to attain or receive financial support or aid from the government, single parents should be found positive of fit for the following requirements.
Children of single parents will be subsidized or given financial assistance by the government until they reach 18 years. However, the child’s situation is subject to thorough probing.
First, the single parent must be first and foremost divorced. Another case for eligibility for financial assistance is when the other significant parent is already dead, or is seriously injured, handicapped or disabled.
It is assumed that during those cases, parent support to the child is almost too impossible and hopeless. Thus, the government intervene and provides the financial parenting or providing role.
Another case for eligibility for single parenthood financial assistance is when the other parent has abandoned the child for about or more than a year already. It is because during the span can it be rightly asserted and assumed that there exists abandonment.
Imprisonment of the other parent can also be grounds or causes for financial support. Or if the child has been born while the parents are not legally tied or married, in other words, the child is born obviously and apparently out of wedlock.
Another desperate case is when the other parent is not identified, which is a case rapidly rising nowadays.
Children and single parents with the following situations, take note, are not eligible for filing or seeking financial assistance or support from the government.
? The child is a rightful heir for any property or pension due to the single parent or both parents.
? The single parent receives or attains additional disability pension funds either because of his disability or because he has children.
? The child is under the custody of foster parents or he or she is under the custody of a daycare center.
? If the child is currently raised and supported by the single parent’s domestic or current partner. Partners bounded by common-law marriages are covered by this provision.
? The single parent is also eligible to receive or be granted public pension benefits.
Thus, filing for financial assistance or support among single parents would not be that easy. Be reminded that such stringent requirements are established to avoid fraud and anomalous activities by bad people who will take on or abuse single parenthood to illegally attain benefits and funds.
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Times are rapidly changing. The elderly always argue that the modern culture has forsaken and outgrown the values taught and instilled by old customs, beliefs and traditions.
Moralists and conservative people are almost always raising their brows and expressing disgust over how current belief and culture systems are evolving. What has been unacceptable in the old world is now becoming fast and rapidly rising trends.
Taboos and outcast-driving issues of yester years are now very common have set minds of people that they actually are just normal and acceptable.
The Child
Because single parenting or parenthood is somehow a choice and decision, taken by the parent, one voice is still unheard of. It is that of the child’s.
Psychologists and advocates argue and insist that single parenting has adverse mental, emotional and psychological effect to the child. Tests from time to time validate that premise.
Several studies have found that the child’s thinking and mental mind set is somehow altered or affected if that child was raised by a single parent.
Although single parents must be commended for raising a child alone, he or she should not be blamed for any mental or psychological result of the situation to the child, as psychological assert.
Tests and observations have consistently concluded and found that single parenting makes children more aggressive and rebellious. Experts say the behavior could be the outcome of the angst and humiliation the child experiences while growing.
Because traditional and normal families have two parents, the mom and the dad, jointly raising kids, single parenting somehow makes the child feel abnormal, different and unaccepted.
The society can sometimes be too cruel for such children, which can make things worse. Humiliation and awkward feeling of insecurity is dangerous if left untreated or undetected in the child. That child can take the burden for the rest of his or her life.
Single parents
One of the issues that were raising the ire of people decades and even centuries back is the issue of single parenting. A quick look at social philosophies link single parenting to adventurism and liberation of people.
The Catholic Church has always been the dominating mentor and guide of traditions, norms and living. The church is so adamant to advocate the sanctity of the sacrament of marriage of matrimony.
That is why the procreation outside wedlock is strictly considered a ground for excommunication. It is one of the greatest sins, according to the Catholic Church, to engage in pre-marital sex.
Single parenthood, in that sense, can be taken in as a punishment of some sorts, to the people who disobey the teachings of the church. But radical thinkers think otherwise. So, is it?
Single parenting is becoming a rapidly rising trend in the society. Studies in the US alone indicate that there are four single parents to every ten parents, there are two single parents for every 10 adults in the country.
Your great grandparents must be really turning up their graves of they could be able to hear such statistics. How times have changed!
Thus, single parents and their children both need professional help through counseling. Reasonable advise and guides should be given both to the child and the single parent to make sure both of them deal with past, present and future issues from single parenting.
Counseling from professionals can form or make up a support system that will make single parenting easier and more effective. Because single parenting is no ordinary parenting, the parent and the child must learn to accept the situation minus the negative feeling.
Nowadays, single parenting is becoming a normal occurrence. Society is not that judgmental anymore towards the single parent and the child. Probably, it can be because of the immunity due to the rising number of single parents. Anyway, it can be positive because at least, single parents choose to be productive.
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Available Scholarships for Single Parents To Improve their Style of Living
A family with a single parent as the head of the family is growing in numbers every year. This is said to be caused by parental breakup and unwanted pregnancies. Women are more affected in this situation than men because of the tremendous task of feeding the family and nurturing them emotionally at the same time.
Families with a single mom are commonly seen in areas wherein unemployement is rampant. Sometimes teenage single mothers are forced to stop their education because no one will take care of their kids and they need to earn to support them. Most single mothers have a lower income capacity.
Because of the increasing rate of single parents, the government, state, and various universities and colleges offers scholarship for single parents especially female single parents who are determined to improve their earning potential, fund for their dorm fees, tuition fees and other related educational expenses.
The primary vision and mission of offering scholarships for single parents are not only to improve the single head future income capacity but also to give hope, improve their confidence and to have determination for their own good and their children.
Scholarship for single parents usually covers the tuition fees, books and other related educational expenses of the successful candidates. Some source of scholarships for single parents also provided restrictions to those who want to avail the scholarships.
Scholarship for single parent are only limited to single parents students with least one dependent child who really needs financial help. A single parent who get a scholarship should not marry during the terms of the scholarship grant.
Single parent students who has the support of her family (willing to take care kids while the parents are in school), may avail of scholarships for single parent full-time. For those single parents who cannot leave their children easily (if they have special kids) may avail of scholarships for single parent that offer part-time class load requirements.
Single parent students covered by scholarships for single parents are being trained to enhance their skills on writing, interpersonal communication and computer. Single parent students are also taught of the learning techniques for success and career exploration.
There is also some sources of scholarships for single parents who are strict in regards to the grade requirement. Every single parent who has been awarded of scholarship for single parent are required a passing grade of 2.5 grade-point averages while others require a 3.0 GPA. There are scholarships that ask for repayment too.
Some scholarships for single parents are strict with regards to the attendance. Single parents are advised to look for scholarships that will give them convenience because they are playing double roles at their home.
There are many courses and programs that single parent may enroll and choose from. Scholarships for single parents are extended to the following courses: accounting course, business courses, computer courses, interior design, health services and office management. A single parent who is good in numbers may choose the accounting course.
Single parents who have the desire to continue their education but lack the financial aid may search for scholarships for single parents online at the websites of universities and colleges or even government websites. You may also call or visit some colleges to check if they are offering scholarship fora single parent like you.
Government and states are also offering scholarships for single parents. Single parents are awarded the amount of tuition, books and dorm for two years until they finish their graduate program.
Single parents who decide to pursue their education must explain to their children the benefit of finishing their studies. Enlighten your children’s mind that before you achieve the success both of you must sacrifice for your time will be divided between your studies, work and them.
There is also scholarship for single parents who are aiming to help not only the single students but also their children. This kind of scholarship program facilitates services for their students by taking care of the children while the parent students are in school. This kind of scholarships are limited depending on the funds of the donors of the scholarships.
This kind of scholarship for single parents benefited not only the single parents but also the child itself. They send and educate their single parent student children into pre-school and in public school. They also provide childcare for children from 12 months through school age.
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Ethnically Speaking: The Trends In Single Parenting
Ethnic studies have discovered that 90% of single parents are women, while in 1995 32% of Black families are single parent households with dependent children. Only 8% of White families are single parent households and 7% in South Asian families.
Around half of Black women aged 30 and above are primary income generators in single parent households, while only one in ten among South Asian women have this scenario. Such figures indicate the sharp difference of Black and White single parent households.
Other ethnic studies of black and white women ages 15 and 44 found that family disruption is a major concern in future choices of children in terms of childbearing and marriage. An ethnic study conducted by Bumpass and McLanahan found that the daughters of single mothers have a:
- 53% chance of being married during their teen years
- 111% change of having teenage births
- 164% change of having premarital births
- 92% chance of experiencing their own marital-related problems.
The developing behavior of girls that grew up and having their father die early also leads to different effect.
- Black children are not significantly affected if their mother is widowed early in life.
- Parental family status does not have a considerable impact on whether white or black girls who grew up in families would get married again after getting divorced.
- The results show that when family background traits are kept constant.
Bumpass and McLanahan arrived on the conclusion that the finding give strong evidence that women who spend a portion of their livelihood in a single parent environment have a bigger chance of getting married and bearing children early, to have children out of wedlock and have major martial issues that will likely end in divorce.
Regardless of what ethnic group you are in, being a single parent is hard. Those coping with being a single parent normally feel the following: sadness, abandonment, confusion, guilt, fear of being alone, and anxiety. The following advises are crucial to help fight combat these feelings:
1) Forgive and forget – Letting go of unwanted feelings can make one feel happier and lighter. Holding on to anger provides more stress that letting go. Forgetting will make more bearable for you to move on and possibly develop a relationship, and preserving your relationship with your kids.
2) Maintain network and ties with your community – Having honorary uncles and aunts in the community develops camaraderie between the kid and the neighbourhood, and the parent and the neighbourhood. It also enables children better understand that creating relationships is an helpful way to forget the bad feelings that they felt during the divorce of their parents.
3) A sense of accomplishment – When a child is assigned with small tasks, a sense of accomplishment is normally felt. Since additional responsibilities have been given, a feeling of openness is added. This is due to the fact that a goal has been achieved to assist in the household. This makes the child feel that he is an integral member of the household.
4) Take responsibility – Before, the responsibility of caring for the family was shared between two individuals. Now, only one is tasked to provide for the whole family. Taking responsibility gives power to a single parent to be extra careful in making decision and managing the family. In addition, the parent can request assistance from the children on major decisions such as what items are essential in the grocery
5) Do not forget the old habits– Children need stability in their lives after a traumatic divorce. Rituals as going to dinner every Wednesday or the parent fetching the child from school every Friday should be kept. In this way, the child will feel that even if the parents are divorce, the good rituals are still there.
6) Different experience for the child – Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can further broaden his perception on how life should be tackled. The child is more receptive and aware to what goes around him, and accepts that the world is not perfect.
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