It can be very frustrating for parents to ask their child over and over again to complete their chores without them
ever getting done. If this describes your home, an effective discipline strategy is to a chore chart. Chores might include taking out the garbage, doing the dishes, cleaning their room, yard work or putting laundry in the laundry room. Each chore has to be done just once or twice a week.
Creating a chore chart can be very effective in helping you and your children keep track of tasks accomplished and also inspiring and motivating by checking off completed tasks. Rather than imposing a chore chart on your children, make the activity of creating the chart fun. At the same time as discussing chores, it is also important to discuss awards for completing all the chores in one week. Make sure your children understand that the reward is for all the tasks accomplished, and no reward will be forthcoming if the tasks are not done.
An effective discipline technique is to discuss this with your child and involve them in the process.Once you’ve sat down with your child and discussed and designed a chore chart, then discuss the rewards for accomplishing each task listed. Perhaps at your home you decide you will give a set sum for each task accomplished.
If you should decide to grant your child some sort of monetary allowance, make sure it’s age appropriate and granted on a regular basis. A good rule of thumb is 50 cents per year of age. So your 8 year old child would earn $4.00 per week if each chore on the list has been completed. If it has not been, they do not receive their allowance. Should you decide to use non-monetary incentives as chores payment, be sure you set clear parameters for your child. Be sure they understand that two hours each weekend of their favorite video game or going to see a movie with mom or dad is only earned by completing the chore list successfully each week. You might want to consider writing these on a slip of paper as ‘currency’ for the child to keep in their ‘privilege bank’ and they can cash it in with you when they’d like.
Regardless of the method you choose, keep in mind this can be a valuable tool for both you and your child. This is a great child discipline opportunity for you to teach your children the value of both earning and saving money, and also giving back. Perhaps the child can divide their allowance into thirds: 1/3 to spend, 1/3 to save, and 1/3 to use to help those less fortunate than themselves. You might also want to consider designing a ‘bank book’ for each portion of the allowance and tuck each into three separate coffee cans or money jars, and that way you and your child will be able to keep track of how much has been saved, how much has been spent, and how much of their allowance has gone to help someone else.
Parenting is all about bringing up your child to a become responsible and reliable individual. This can be successfully accomplished by using consistent parenting strategies.Consistency is important in any form of discipline for kids. Without consistency in expectations, rewards and consequences child discipline becomes ineffective.
When I was young, my brother and I got into lots of fights that were mostly my fault. When my mother found out that I was responsible, she would tell me that I was grounded and would send me to my room. No more than 10 minutes later though, she would always end up coming into my room and apologizing for punishing me this way. It seemed like I never got a clear message from her as to what I did wrong and why I was in trouble and therefore, I turned into a master manipulator with my parents because I knew they would be inconsistent. I knew I could get what I wanted due to that. Fortunately, my relationship with my parents is much better now and inconsistencies in childhood can be overcome, but why even let them happen for that long?
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
A huge mistake that so many parents make is to be inconsistent, especially with discipline. Often times, parents will discipline their children for doing some things wrong, but at other times, they will simply give in to what their children want. Have you ever felt so frustrated with your child during a temper tantrum that you finally just give in to get him/her to stop? Don’t worry. Even though this is not the best approach to dealing with a temper tantrum, it still happens a lot! You want to make sure to always be consistent with your discipline. If you give in one time and not another, not only will your child be confused and feel insecure but future issues will probably become worse as your child thinks, “Wait, I got away with this last time but not this time? Hmmm, I need to up my ante and act worse so my parent gives in again.” That is not a fun situation to deal with.
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
Sometimes parents react impulsively (like with giving into a temper tantrum to just get their child to stop) because they feel overwhelmed and emotionally charged. When your child is pushing you to the edge, it is completely ok for you to leave the situation and come back when you are ready to handle it better. Simply let your child know that you are upset or angry with his/her behavior and you need some time alone to think before moving forward. It is also a good idea to recommend that your child think during that time as well. When you exhibit new behavior like this and change to more consistent discipline, it is almost a guarantee that your child will try and test you time and time again until he/she realizes that old habits and methods will no longer work. Unfortunately, it will get much worse before it gets better and that can be fairly discouraging. Your child will try to get what he/she wants like always but when he/she realizes it is no longer working, he/she will probably escalate the situation and make it even more unbearable for you than before. Be strong though! It is amazing to watch a child get so much more frustrated and act out even worse and then over time, to see him/her beginning to realize that it will not work and start acting more like a calm human being. When your child is pushing your buttons, remember to stay calm. When you fight back with your child, you are creating a power struggle that will either end you’re your child as the winner or in a fit of anger that can be dangerous. You want to avoid a power struggle between you and your child and remaining calm (and even walking away) will greatly reduce the chances of having a struggle like that. When you handle difficult situations with your child, make sure to point out and praise the positive behavior rather than focusing on the negative behavior. When your child finally exhibits a good behavior after throwing a fit and probably driving you close to insane, point out the good behavior and praise him/her for it.
Is your Child Ahead or Behind?
Anyone who has been through the stage of parenting help a toddler probably looks back and thinks that wasn’t so bad. In fact, many people miss those years (once they are over).
That is kind of sad. Why not enjoy the toddler years when they are happening? Here are some tips to help you do just that.
First, relax and have fun along with your child. Clear some responsibilities from your schedule so you don’t feel like you have no time to spend with your toddler. There is no reason to feel guilty for spending a few hours playing with Duplo blocks or building a wooden train track. So during these wonderful years spend less time at social events and meetings and more time at home. You will not regret it.
Second, this is a very important age when a child begins to form the character they will have for the rest of their lives. This is the time to lay a foundation of good parenting skills, respect for others, and knowing right from wrong.
You need to model patience, respect, and truthfulness. When your child gets angry that something didn’t work out right, help them work through the anger. That can be hard for parents who are impatient themselves. But if you teach your child self control now they will be better prepared for the teen years and adulthood. If you need to, get a book that deals with this problem (The Heart of Anger is very good).
Discipline is a difficult topic, but a parent who disciplines a toddler in love, with patience, will have much less need to discipline the child when he or she is older. It is much easier to deal with disobedience when the child is three than when he is 13.
However, make sure it is truly disobedience and not just childishness. There is a big difference. The child who is willfully being defiant and going against his parent’s wishes is not the same as the child who accidentally spills his milk or who starts crying because she didn’t get enough sleep the night before. So be sure to take these things into consideration.
Third, if you are at home with a toddler (or two) all day and feel like you need a break, call in some help. Whether you hire a neighbor girl to watch your children a few hours each week or have your mother or grandmother take the children for a while, give yourself a break. Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Just about everyone has to ask someone to help out during these years.
Giving yourself a few hours off each week will make better
parenting help, too. You will find that it gives you more energy, more patience, and a better perspective in being a mother. Your children will be more precious to you after you have had a few hours to yourself.
Having a toddler in the house can be a wonderful experience. Toddlers are so full of wonder and everything is an adventure to them. They think you are terrific and love to spend hours playing with you as you build with blocks or play games or whatever else they want to do.
Take advantage of this time and be available. Relax, enjoy your child, and build many memories to think back on when your child is older, or even when he has moved out on his own.
Making your family life work is extremely important. How successfully you can do it is in your own hands. There are certain points which should be kept in mind if you want your family to be a happy family. Your kids and your spouse are your family. By definition a family is a group of people who are related to each other by either blood ties or by marriage and adoption. The dictionaries define a family as a group of people in which normally two adults have a socially acceptable relationship with each other and they may have kids of their own and they may adopt the kids of other people. This family unit is the most important group of people in any one’s life. If this group of people understands and they are able to give you the space in life which you need the most, you will be able to bear the rough and tough of life. How you behave as a family is important. If you have close ties with each other you will be able to make life better and easier for each other. Those families in which the members are not very close to each other are not very helpful in bringing positivism and courage in a person. To build a strong character you need to have strong foundations. The family unit is the demographic unit which provides this strength. The family unit and the concept of strong family ties are appreciated by all the cultures. If you belong to a developed country the concept of family ties will be different than what you will experience if you belong to some under developed country. From whichever part of the world you belong, the family unit is always important. It is the unit which is considered very important by almost all the cultures.To find out more visit family web sites
The close ties between the members of a family are important in making your personality. In the world of today these ties are even more important. Thus you must try to retain this structure. The family unit must be preserved and you should play your role in developing your family ties with the other family members. There are certain things which you should do to promote the love and affection you feel for each other. It is important to do so. If you pay due importance to the family structure you will be able to have a very close bonding with the other members of your family.An excellent resource for finding family activities is family sites this will help with the ties that bind
If you want to feel closer to somebody, feeling the emotion of love for that person is not enough. Creating understanding between you and that person is very important. The same goes within a family. If you want to retain your family ties and if you want your family unit to become even closer, you have to understand each other. Everyone in this world needs love and care. You must give your family members all the love and care which you can give them. You must also try to understand their needs. Some of your family members may need a lot of space for themselves. If you want to have a close family you need to understand these requirements of the other members of the family. If the family members understand, there will be no problem for any one and the relationships will become even stronger.
Give your family members a margin to be wrong sometimes. This is very important as the psychologists say that it is a right of everyone to be wrong sometimes. If this is the situation, you must discuss the problem with your family member but give him or her surety that your love for him or her is unconditional. This is very important. People feel closer to each other due to the bond of love that exists between them. Understanding between two people leads them to a growing love.
Although understanding each other is very important but loving your siblings, your kids and your parents are the actual key to success. Thus, make them know for sure that you love them.See more information at family web sites Feel the bonds within your heart. You will definitely help your family in becoming happier, and your family life will become a better experience for you.
Dealing with a parenting problem needs to be addressed on different levels. Not all parenting problems can be put in the same basket but one thing they have in common is the solution is never immediate.
Reacting on impulse as a solution is never a smart thing. Tackling each problem on it’s merits is a good start. There are various stages in a child’s life where they are going to run into problems simply because of growing up. It may be school work, peer pressure, eating problems, relationship issues…there is any number of situations children will face which will present you with a parenting problem.
So how do you react? Seeking solutions today seems a heck of a lot easier than it was even two decades ago. In fact, the benefit of living in the 21st century and dealing with a parenting problem is you can now remain anonymous. And the internet has given us the opportunity too.
But by the same token, it may not be the ideal situation simply because you are dealing with advice in cyber space and have no idea who or where the advice is coming from. Many parenting solution organizations are now online and the best advice you can get is to stick with the ones you know rather than getting on many of the forums and trying to read between the lines.
Children’s Issues
Here’s a parenting problems or two which you may resonate with:
- getting your child to clean their room
- improving your child’s habits around the home
- getting your child to spend more time away from the television or computer
- picking up bad or even deadly habits such as drugs
- eating disorders or simply trying to get them to eat right
- school work issues and getting your child to study
Three Parenting Problem Solution Points
A problem isn’t one until you recognize it. Until you admit to yourself there is an issue finding a solution is pointless. So let’s take a look at some avenues you can pursue to find help with your parenting problem:
1. Finding suitable reference points online. There are also chat room on these sites where you can interact with real parents who have encountered similar problems and can share with you what worked for them
2. Referring to books and again, online is an easy way to get hold of books without asking for help in person if you want to remain anonymous. In the area too you can find books on almost any subject with great advice and solutions.
3. There is always professional help available if you consider you need to seek some. Locally, your city council will have a list of areas you can refer to and it’s important to choose the right solution center.
Some parental problems may be solved right away while some may take a lot longer or may need to try many different approaches to get to the bottom of it; where as some may require constant working on it for long periods of time; whatever the case, recognizing a parenting issue and working on it for as long as it takes is the only way to deal with it.
One of the most controversial topics on parenting is about imposing discipline on a child. What, exactly, do we mean when we discipline a child? Will it matter to him if the parent disciplines him or not? Some believe that too much disciplining will create a person who will have so many hang-ups later in life, needing a therapist to function normally, and, thus, would impose little discipline. For others, they think that very little disciplining can lead to a person who knows no boundaries, posing a danger to society, and would tend to be very strict. This article will talk about disciplining a child, why it is important, and some tips on effective discipline.
What is discipline?
A lot of people equate discipline to punishment. When they hear of the word “discipline”, they think of spankings, time outs, grounding, and other actions penalizing wrongdoing. Yet, one must remember that the word “discipline” has the same root word as that of “disciple”. Both came from a Latin word meaning “pupil”. Thus, discipline really means to teach or to guide. Punishment may be a form of disciplining, but not the only one.
What are the effects of discipline?
Let us take the game of baseball. Supposing there are no rules in playing the game. There are no strike zones, no outs, or no way to keep scores. How fun will that be? The rules are imposed not to stifle the players but to make the game more enjoyable. Without the rules, players may not even have the motivation to hone their skills.
This is also true with discipline. By imposing rules and boundaries according to the child’s age, he can develop self-discipline, helping the child to grow up happy and well adjusted.
Some tips on effective discipline.
1. Rules must be clear to the child.
Going back to our example of the game of baseball, what if the batter does not understand why a certain pitch is called a ball, while another is called a strike. Without this understanding, the batter will swing his bat with every pitch, even if the ball is way above his head.
Rules that are vague to a child will only lead to frustration. Talk with your child when putting limits. Be sure that your child understands what is expected of him when a situation occurs.
2. Be consistent.
What if the distance between the first base and the home plate is varied every time a batter comes up to the plate? Worse, what if the base is moved while the player is running towards it?
By being consistent, a child learns that certain actions will result in a predictable consequence. The child will learn self-discipline, for he will know what actions to take, or not take, if he wants to have, or avoid, a certain outcome.
3. Provide positive feedback.
Actions that are rewarded get repeated. Unfortunately, there are some children who think that being noticed by a busy parent is a form of reward. The child may behave badly, even risking punishment, just to get the attention of his parent. Therefore, be sure to reward good behavior. A simple “thank you”, a kiss, or even a little smile may be enough feedback.
Remember, to discipline your child is to teach him how to grow up happy and secure. He will not see your disciplining as punishment; rather, he will look at it as a sign of love
There have become more single parenting tips over the past twenty years. There has been an increasing number of children growing up in a single parent famiy. Over all these changes in our society has changed things drastically over the past years.
The way someone responds to a given circumstance and deals with change has an effect on family decision making now. Things such as single parent statistics us to understand more. Studies of single parent homes prove both positive and negative effects.
Conflicting studies of single parenting show that the effects are positive and negative. Studies have shown that children of a single parent have a lower self esteem than children with both parents.
Also, Many studies show that single and shared parenting doesn’t have much effect on the well-being of each parent. The emotional well-being of both the child and the parent as well as the dynamics of a parent-child relationship is dependent on how the parent deals with a child.
Relieving Stress- Being a single parent can cause both the children and the parent to feel stressed.
A lot of times, the emotions of the child are not something both parents feel. Explaining the situation to the child can help him or her to understand why the separation occurred, and thereby reassure them emotionally.
There will be less tension, towards the parents and others, if the child understands this.
2) Having more time causes tension which is felt over discussions regarding separation and divorse will lead up to children being neglected. Shouting matches and silent treatment are often perpetrated by both children and parent.
Therefore, being a single parent allows a lot more time to meet the needs of your children, creating open communication between both parties. This can result in positive bonding discussions and cooperative vacation planning. Having more time would create a calmer family atmosphere.
3)Re-gaining ties with the neighborhood- children and parents can perform together, as well as have relationships with people of the area because of the effect of being a single parent.
Single parents in need of help can turn to the neighbors for help in caring for their children. This frequently results in a positive feeling of involvement on not only the parent and their child, but also the neighborhood.
4) Out of the box experience to the child- Since the child now shuttles between two separate parents, the child can broaden his/her experiences pertaining to life. The child is able to see that the world does not cater to them and is more self aware.
5) Feeling accomplished- When children are given a small number of responsbilities, they will generally feel a sense of accomplishment. Because of the newly added responsibilities, parents often feel more open and at ease in addition to the sense of accomplishment. Only because a feat had already been done to help out in the household. This validates the child and makes them feel like a vital part of the family.
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6)For single parents it is wiser to prioritize; this will help them to balance life and work Occasionally, a new project, which focuses on finding new types of paying work, is required if the family is to be supported.
In order to have balance in you life you need to prioritize your schedules, school and financial obligations. In single family homes, getting your work and home life to balance is challenging due to the added responsibility.
While a parent is single, chilren can play an active role in the disision of the parents. All parents especially single ones need caring thinking minds to help with making major decisions.
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few things tried my patience as much as did the statement, “This is boring!” As I reflect back on my many years in the classroom, I can’t help but feel a tad bit sorry for the first kid who made the mistake of uttering those words each year. Well, classes aren’t TV.
The sermon went something like this. “Nobody is BORED in my classroom. I work hard to plan fun and interesting activities that will allow you to learn. When you finish your work earlier than others, there are many choices of quiet things to do. You may use the book nook, puppet theatre, computer, writing center, art center, or the manipulative math corner. Now please, do NOT let me hear the word “bored” again!”
I suspect that each school year’s first offender felt like Calvin in one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes cartoons. In the first two frames Calvin is sitting at his school desk looking totally bored, but saying nothing. In the third frame Calvin screams, “BORRRING!” In the final frame Calvin is heading for the Principal’s office muttering, “Yeah, yeah… kill the messenger.”
Although not many kids made the mistake of verbally uttering the “B” word a second time, I suspect they thought it (or mouthed it to their friends) more than once. Why do all teachers hear this complaint on a somewhat regular basis? Is it because most kids find the day-to-day classroom work too easy? Not hardly.
Contrary to popular opinion, the “bored” child is not always the academically gifted child who is not being challenged. As a matter of fact, that is rarely the case. More often than not, the “bored” student is one who is frustrated because he is not really understanding the material being presented, or does not yet possess the skill that he is being asked to demonstrate. (None of us like to admit that we aren’t up to doing a task that we’re expected to accomplish, or that we haven’t the foggiest notion about what is being explained to us. And for most of us, it’s easier to say, “I’m bored” than it is to say, “I’m struggling.”)
When a student of any age says he is bored, he oftentimes means something quite different. He is really saying, “This isn’t fun. This is work and I don’t want to work. I want to be entertained! Furthermore, I don’t understand what she (the teacher) is talking about or what I am supposed to do. ” In the mind of the student (albeit subconsciously), his cry of boredom shifts the blame and the responsibility from himself to the teacher.
If the child is unlucky, the “boredom syndrome” will give the parent a hook on which to hang criticism of the teacher, and no one will win. The parent blames the teacher, the teacher reacts defensively, and the child continues to flounder. An opportunity for helping a kid gets lost somewhere between the pointing fingers of the parent and the defense mechanisms of the teacher. The realities of parenting and education.
And what do I suggest you do if your child says, “School is boring”? Run (forget walk) to the telephone and request a conference with your child’s teacher. Advise the teacher of your concern. Assure “him” that you are not requesting a conference to assign blame to anyone, but rather to get his opinion as to what is really going on in the classroom that might prompt a declaration of boredom. I can assure you that your child’s teacher will appreciate your concern and do everything possible to work with you to determine the cause, and work toward a solution.
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Of all the phases of life, being a parent can be one of the most challenging. Many of us figure we can deal with events that come our way, but when you become a parent, it’s a whole different ball game. You swiftly realize that your children are little individual beings under your care and, while you might feel you can just buck up when it comes to situations that concern just you, being a parent requires that you make decisions for your children which may impact them for a lifetime. All of a sudden, you’re hit with the awesome responsibility of guiding your child in an effective and positive way. Although no one can attain perfection, you can certainly round out your knowledge with a few well-chosen parenting books!
Parenting Books can Help!
Everyone can remember making poor choices in their own life, resulting in a negative influence on the future course of events. For example, perhaps you didn’t heed your parent’s advice on education. Being young and full of life, you decided to be footloose and fancy free, getting a job and partying with your friends for instant fun. The trouble was, that you thereby got locked in to a situation that turned from immediate gratification into years of low income jobs. Now you’ve got kids of your own. You may think, “I’ll be sure my kids don’t fall into that trap!”
The question is, where did your parents go wrong? Why didn’t you heed their wisdom? In many cases, your parents didn’t fail you, and your natural developmental stages and urges spurred you on to a mistake for which you’ve paid for years. Maybe you decided to return to school, taking night courses while working and raising kids. You managed to break out of your poor choices. Yet, you realize that the same cycle might repeat itself with your own kids. Here’s where parenting books can help. More about Parenting Books.
Teenagers have been the butt of hundreds of sitcom jokes. New parents or those with young children are warned about those dreaded “teenage years” when rebellion sets in and trouble begins. Parents tell horror stories about sneaking out, disrespect and even tales of alcohol or drug abuse. It is enough to make any would-be parent run for the hills. But the bottom line is that parenting teenagers is a whole different story than being the parent of a small child.
Okay, so maybe it is not as bad as all that. Being the parent of a teenager is a lot different than having an elementary aged child, toddler or an infant. There are a different set of problems that are very age specific that each parent must eventually face. There is no avoiding it; countless parents have wished it could be so. Parenting teenagers and small children all have one basic commonality. Both require a set of rules and limitations. Some parents have a much more relaxed system than others do. The parenting teenagers must differ on is the actual nature of the rules.
One example of a big difference is that children will not be dealing with issues such as dating and curfews. Laws in most cities have a weekday curfew and a weekend curfew for people beneath the age of eighteen. This is to provide a structure to protect children. It is these guidelines that parents seek to undertake as well. Parenting classes and magazines advise that most teens seek rules even if they do not outwardly show it. Giving them a strict curfew and letting them know what is okay and what is wrong is a way to guide them in choices they must make.
Any parent of a teen can attest that expressing physical affection is a hit and miss situation. Teens want their own autonomy and are easily embarrassed in front of their friends if a parent wants to hug or kiss them. It is nothing personal. It is just a phase and it will pass. The important thing is to let them know that they are loved regardless of their actions.
Parenting help exists for those couples or guardians who are having difficulty parenting teenagers. Many schools offer counseling or can recommend a psychologist if there is problems or emotional difficulties. No teenager is beyond help and this is a fact that all experts agree on.
Parenting teenagers is a fine line between leniency and strictness. Teens should be raised to be respectful and know what the rules are. They are also entitled to a loving atmosphere where they can find support and care. It is not about pampering or caving into their demands. After all, they are not adults and do not have the experience to guide them in their decision making skills. That is what a parent is for.
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