Used to be there were very few single dads, most single parents were mothers. This is changing, however, and there are more and more dads who have custody of the children.
In a way, it doesn’t really matter much why this is changing, I’m sure there are many theories to explain this social phenomena. What does matter is that being a single dad can be a very challenging task. Not that single motherhood is easy, but society is just much more adapted to single moms.
Besides the fact that most women have a natural maternal instinct that enables them to care for children, social agencies and institutions are simply more accustomed to single mothers than fathers.
Personally, I have raised 3 children as a single father. It has been a very strange trip, indeed! I have had to learn so many skills that I am not at all naturally inclined to that I am sometimes amazed. It amazes me because I actually have learned to use the phone book, the phone, agendas, calendars, planners, kitchen tools, recipe books, cleaning supplies, keep appointments and much more!
Here is some single parenting help for single dads
Resign yourself to the fact that you are a single dad. This means that you are a prisoner of your family and must not try to escape.
Accept the fact that this job is thankless and relentless. You will be criticized for what you do and what you do not do. Plus, it is a 24/7 task. If you slack off for very long, it will come back to haunt you! Realize that anything you let slip will come back with a vengeance. If you neglect to follow up, show up, clean up, make up and any other kind of up, you will pay dearly. This is part of the relentlessness of single parenting. You pay now or pay later, and it is much better to pay now!
Accept the fact that you must assume all the responsibilities that a mother would have, plus your own as a father. This does not mean that you will be able to do all that she could have done, but you still need to do the work of two people.
Accept that fact that you are not the mother and father! This means that you will never be able to be warm and cuddly, overly attentive to little scratches and personal needs. Your tenderness is more like a good woman’s coarseness, but that is just the way it is.
Forget about a normal social life, at least until the children get older. You might be able to manage dating or socializing if you only have one child, but it probably is still a challenge.
Take care of yourself. Get exercise, don’t drink too much, keep your appearance up by shaving and keeping your clothes clean and nice. Your children already feel inferior, don’t add to their stress by looking like a lumberjack when you come to pick them up.
If you get to the point where mannequins look attractive, you need to get out and be with people. If the check out girl at the grocery store calls you honey and you feel good about it, you need to make a way to be with people. And if she touches your hand when she gives you the change, and you are thrilled, you really need to get out more!
Learn the art of networking. It takes a village to raise a child, so find your village and become a part of it. There are many, many other people just like you who need a helping hand. Share the load and it is lighter for everyone.
Learn to communicate. Talk to the teachers, the principal, the counselors, the coaches, everyone who has to do with your children. You can learn a lot about your children, as well as yourself. It can be a hard to pill to swallow when you find out your are more or less incompetent. But how else can you learn if you never find out where you are truly at?
Conclusion
Parenting is difficult under the best of conditions. Parenting as a single dad is even more challenging. It is an adventure unlike anything else and, in the end, your relationship with your children will last forever.
We offer advice and resources on some of the more difficult aspects of raising a family. Stress at work, how to get pregnant, parenting advice for single fathers and single mothers are some of our topics.
There are times when parenting can be frustrating, especially when the child is going through a phase which is inconvenient, and can be a concern to the parents. Most of the time the child will grow out of a particular behaviour, but going through the process as they overcome the problem can be worrying. One particular instance that can be frustrating and a concern for parents is when a child wets the bed during the night.
Wetting the bed is quite common with young children particularly infants. However when the child gets to school-age and older and bed wetting is still happening then it becomes frustrating for the parents and embarrassing for the child.
Bed wetting is a difficult subject to deal with because of its delicate nature. If a parent deals with bed wetting with punishment,teasing or nagging it will have a negative impact. The best way to deal with the problem of bed wetting is not to make the child feel bad about it, but rather comfort and reassure them that this is a problem that can easily be overcome. Here are some preventative measures you can take to help your child go through the night without wetting the bed.
Make it part of your child’s night time routine to go to the toilet just before they get into bed. Make sure that the child can easily get to the toilet if they wake up during the night needing to empty the bladder. Perhaps having a night light or leaving the doors open can easily facilitate this.
Protect the bed with a plastic sheet so that it doesn’t get wet with urine, and become smelly. By protecting the mattress with rubber sheets, it becomes easier to change the bed and avoid wet sheets and mattresses.
Start reducing drinks a couple of hours before the child’s bedtime so that they have less fluid in the body during the night.
When a child does wet the bed think more of the child than your personal inconvenience of having to change the bedding. It is important for the child to develop confidence and a sense of self belief that they can overcome bed wetting and that you believe that they will be able to achieve this.
Children do what gets rewarded. Praise your child when they do go through the night without wetting the bed. When you focus on the positive rather than the negative it helps the child understand and want to earn more praise.
As parents try not to show your anxiety if your child has this bedwetting problem. Most of the time it is just a phase that the child will grow out of in time, and has no serious implications.
The best single parenting advice I know of is this: “It takes a village to raise a child.” Single mothers, or single fathers, have extra demands and stress placed on them. It just takes more than two hands to raise a family-it takes a village. Sometimes other people just have no idea what it is like to be alone, raising your kids.
The list is almost as endless, as it is relentless. The demands of work, house cleaning, laundry, meals, endless rides, school visits and functions, athletics, programs, doctors, dentists, friends, and on and on it goes.
Add the attempt single parents make at having a social life and you might just tip the balance over. But, we all need love and affection and friendship! Ask any single father or single mother about their social life and you are likely to get some pretty funny reactions!
So, how does this village work?
As any single father or single will quickly agree, the stresses and strains of going it alone can be monumental. At times you can feel so incredibly alone. Yet there are many things that can be done to make you job more fruitful and enjoyable. Make use of the many resources available to help.
The African proverb which says that “It takes a village to raise a child” is very true. It is foolish to try and do everything yourself and will quickly lead to burnout. There are many ways to share the burden and at the same time be a help to those who are helping you.
First, recognize that you are not alone! There are literally millions of people in similar situations and probably most of them feel as you do much of the time. It is also very important to keep the big picture in mind, so you do not get bogged down in the details of everyday.
Much can be said about our expectations and fears. It seems that both the things we hope for and fear happen to us. Be keenly aware of what you dwell on inside. Our thoughts are powerful, and have the tendency to become self-fulfilling prophecies. Remember that the thing we fear often comes upon us!
Coordinate with other parents. Take car-pooling, for instance: with some planning and communication it is usually possible to share ride-giving. Just be sure to give as well as receive. The same goes for overnight visits, trips, lessons, sports, childcare and so on.
School counselors, coaches, teachers, and business owners can also be a great help. The use of email has made keeping track of times, dates, appointments, grades, activities much easier and quick. Keep a steady line of communication open with the important people in the lives of your children.
Take time for yourself! Don’t forget that if you are not happy, you can do very little to really help your loved ones. You need to be replenished and rejuvenated in order to continue down your strenuous path. Wouldn’t it be great to meet someone who shared your dreams and values?
What about that social life?
So, what’s a single father or single mother to do? Going it alone with kids can bring you to your knees pretty quickly, not to mention the fact that there is no other adult to talk to! It is essential that single fathers and single mothers connect with another person who can give you comfort, advice and help.
The online dating network is quite extensive and it has numerous sites where you can learn a great deal and possibly even meet someone you like–alot!. I personally know several people who have met some wonderful people from the dating services.
School functions can also present many opportunities to connect with other parents, single as well as married. These days it seems that the “traditional family” is either divorced or single!
Take the time and make the effort to connect with your own village, it will help you more than you can imagine. Parenting advice is usually best when given by another parent who has been there and succeeded!
Positive Parenting is something that concerns nearly all mothers and fathers. As devoted parents, we all want to have a healthy impact on our kids and help them to grow up feeling nurtured, safe, and cared for.
Quite often your child simply will not understand the values or ethics you are trying to instil in them, and you can rest assured as they get older they’ll try not to understand even more
One part of the answer is to seek the best, illuminate the positive, and to find the grain of goodness in every situation you encounter with your child.
The underlying principle here is that every situation that arises with your child is perfect, even at its most troublesome point. Every situation has a positive side. Therefore, positive parenting begins with desiring to find the positive in any situation.
Also try to keep telling them No, children remember this and often it can be negative to their development.
Try giving them a choice with a more positive outcome to help them figure it out for themselves, for example ” well you can do that but if you do this and this you’ll get this (positive result).
It’s always going to be a challenge bringing up children and even though there are hundreds of books out there, that does not mean the methods of parenting will always be right, but rest assured positive parenting is a good way to go.
Today’s society finally starting to look around and realize that if we don’t start paying attention to the Earth’s needs as opposed to just our own, there will be nothing left for the the future.
This has lead to a movement in how people raise their children. Many parents are adopting a “Green Parenting” style- focused on reducing, recycling and reusing of goods as well as passing over synthetically made goods in favor of those that are organic. Sure, there might be a short term goal of providing a health and happier life for their child in mind, but in the long run, acclimating our children to this lifestyle now means they will continue it for the future and ultimately make the world a better place.
So, how might one getting started on the path to Green Parenting? Here are a few tips to follow:
1) Be eco friendly is to be eco friendly yourself. Children learn by example. You can tell your children to be respect the environment all you want, but you’re not going to get anywhere if you don’t practice what you preach. This doesn’t mean you have to be an eco-saving super hero, but taking little steps like planting a garden, or picking up trash in the park with your child sets an example for them to follow.
2) Talk to them about conservation. Children, by nature, love everything around them. If they understand how valuable a resource the Earth is, they will want to help and the earlier you start to talk to them about it, the better.
3) Get your child involved in volunteering. If you work or volunteer for an environmental activist group, get your children involved as soon as they are old enough. Many areas offer volunteer organizations for teens and young adults. The first place to look is with the places where you found classes for young children. The most important part is that your child gets involved on a larger scale than just within your family. This also helps them meet other people their age who also care about environmental issues.
4) Buy Organic. Organic Clothes, foods, etc. don’t have harmful pesticides embedded in them and are therefore healthier for your family and the environment. The cost might seem a bit higher on these items that the traditional alternatives, but cost isn’t as important as health.
All in all, while switching to an eco-friendly lifestyle might seem a chore, if you take it slow, introducing new green living tactics one to two at a time as opposed to all at once, you will be amazed at how easy it becomes. In the long run, your children and the Earth will thank you for it.
In welcoming a new baby, nothing does it better than a special baby shower in celebration of the new life that has been added to the family. Baby showers can come in many forms. There are simple and intimate parties, while there are huge celebrations as well. The same can be said about baby shower gifts. They also come in different forms. Some baby shower gifts can be usable, while some are decorative items as cute as babies. There are plenty of choices to choose from.
Baby shower gifts nowadays are becoming more creative and varied than ever. Even the simple gifts, such as washcloths, now come in creative packaging. And with the use of light, pastel colors, the gifts are so cute that they are attractive both to babies and to grownups as well. Personalized gifts are also popular these days. These are gifts that can be made especially for the baby you have in mind. There is a wide range of possible gifts that can be made personalized by adding the babies’ names. There are also different gifts designed specifically for whether the baby is a boy or a girl. Most gifts are actually the same, and just vary in color. Most gifts for boys come in blue, while most gifts for girls come in pink. There are gifts that are great for those with limited budgets as well as for those who are in a hurry to buy a gift. If you need a baby shower gift, all these options are available in gift stores online.
Some baby shower gifts also come as early preparation materials. These are gifts that babies might not be able to use at first, but will be quite handy when they start growing. For example, you can also give baby book sets, puzzles, stools, tooth sets, baby plates and utensils, and the likes. Aside from that, some gifts are also aimed towards the parents, instead of the baby. You can also give picture frames, photo albums, and scrapbooks to the parents for them to keep their babies’ pictures in.
However, the best baby shower gifts are those that will be helpful for parents in caring for the child. For overall help, a complete baby kit would make a great gift. A baby kit or a baby basket is a combination of different sets of caring materials for babies. If a baby kit is too expensive, separate items will also provide great help to parents. These caring materials range from potty sets, sets of skin care products, diaper sets, pillow sets, bath sets, towels and washcloths, and the likes. These gifts will surely be used, and will not go to waste. Most parents usually appreciate such gifts a lot.
So if you are looking for a baby shower gift, you won’t run out of options. It doesn’t really matter whether you go practical and buy something usable, or give a really cute decorative gift. All baby shower gift ideas will surely be used and appreciated. They can be of help to the parents, or provide joy and stimulation for the babies.
For more baby tips visit BigBabyLove.com. Go Here is another interesting post about free baby stuff.
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