Used to be there were very few single dads, most single parents were mothers. This is changing, however, and there are more and more dads who have custody of the children.
In a way, it doesn’t really matter much why this is changing, I’m sure there are many theories to explain this social phenomena. What does matter is that being a single dad can be a very challenging task. Not that single motherhood is easy, but society is just much more adapted to single moms.
Besides the fact that most women have a natural maternal instinct that enables them to care for children, social agencies and institutions are simply more accustomed to single mothers than fathers.
Personally, I have raised 3 children as a single father. It has been a very strange trip, indeed! I have had to learn so many skills that I am not at all naturally inclined to that I am sometimes amazed. It amazes me because I actually have learned to use the phone book, the phone, agendas, calendars, planners, kitchen tools, recipe books, cleaning supplies, keep appointments and much more!
Here is some single parenting help for single dads
Resign yourself to the fact that you are a single dad. This means that you are a prisoner of your family and must not try to escape.
Accept the fact that this job is thankless and relentless. You will be criticized for what you do and what you do not do. Plus, it is a 24/7 task. If you slack off for very long, it will come back to haunt you! Realize that anything you let slip will come back with a vengeance. If you neglect to follow up, show up, clean up, make up and any other kind of up, you will pay dearly. This is part of the relentlessness of single parenting. You pay now or pay later, and it is much better to pay now!
Accept the fact that you must assume all the responsibilities that a mother would have, plus your own as a father. This does not mean that you will be able to do all that she could have done, but you still need to do the work of two people.
Accept that fact that you are not the mother and father! This means that you will never be able to be warm and cuddly, overly attentive to little scratches and personal needs. Your tenderness is more like a good woman’s coarseness, but that is just the way it is.
Forget about a normal social life, at least until the children get older. You might be able to manage dating or socializing if you only have one child, but it probably is still a challenge.
Take care of yourself. Get exercise, don’t drink too much, keep your appearance up by shaving and keeping your clothes clean and nice. Your children already feel inferior, don’t add to their stress by looking like a lumberjack when you come to pick them up.
If you get to the point where mannequins look attractive, you need to get out and be with people. If the check out girl at the grocery store calls you honey and you feel good about it, you need to make a way to be with people. And if she touches your hand when she gives you the change, and you are thrilled, you really need to get out more!
Learn the art of networking. It takes a village to raise a child, so find your village and become a part of it. There are many, many other people just like you who need a helping hand. Share the load and it is lighter for everyone.
Learn to communicate. Talk to the teachers, the principal, the counselors, the coaches, everyone who has to do with your children. You can learn a lot about your children, as well as yourself. It can be a hard to pill to swallow when you find out your are more or less incompetent. But how else can you learn if you never find out where you are truly at?
Conclusion
Parenting is difficult under the best of conditions. Parenting as a single dad is even more challenging. It is an adventure unlike anything else and, in the end, your relationship with your children will last forever.
We offer advice and resources on some of the more difficult aspects of raising a family. Stress at work, how to get pregnant, parenting advice for single fathers and single mothers are some of our topics.
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